Drive By Tongue Bitch Rant #1

Professor Val has a great friend who, from time to time, shares her wisdom-usually in a moment of twisted angst... Here is her latest Drive By Tongue Bitch Rant

"I can't think straight as my bra is very uncomfortable. And then I thought - why is the female gender subjected to having to endure such an uncomfortable device?

Admittedly, a bra does improve the way we look (influenced of course by culture). Now I ask, who on this planet enjoys viewing mushy, lumpy man pants? Men should have to wear a ballssier. Equipped with metal underwires to "lift and separate". They can start out as already awkward adolescents with training ballssiers. Then to bolster their self-esteem and affirm their identity as sexual objects, they can then be forced to wear skimpy ballssiers that are highly uncomfortable and have their goods slip out of the the supportive device.

As midlife approaches, the ballssier can then take on a look that screams to them, 'you have no sex appeal left' where they are then forced to wear large, shapeless nut-cradles. To complete the concept, they should also have to purchase (sold separately of course) deodorizing inserts. I cant wait to witness a man having to spread his legs in a department store in order to be properly sized, then informed that the store doesnt carry that small a size. Lets hear it for the circulation of internet jokes poking fun at aging men and their drooping sacs. For my next thought, I may get into designing a 'testogram' replicated after the mammogram. "



Tongue Bitch Signing Off
...until next time

Housework Foreplay...

I have been telling folks this for years. (I'm going to present this from the view point of the man complaining he isnt getting enough sex but it can just as easily be the woman complaining about the man...)

Couples often bicker about keeping the house clean, taking care of the kids, cooking, doing errands, etc. Say what you want about "women's lib", I feel that those pioneers did not think things through to the end result. Yes women can go out and work and make as much, if not more money than men, but they are also STILL stuck in the kitchen, taking care of the kids, carpooling, cleaning, etc. Women fighting to become part of the work force is also one of the reasons that we need two-income families now just to make ends meet-it changed the economy of the USA (but I digress..)

Are there men out there pulling their weight? Yes. Are there men out there doing everything for the kids, house, wife and still working full time? Yes. Are their lazy women out there doing absolutely nothing? Yes. The majority of the time it's still the woman who has more crap piled on her than time in the day to get it all done.

Instead of whining and complaining that you are not getting enough sex at home, how about pitching in with the chores and the kids and all of that mundane junk? It should not always be the woman's responsibility to do all of that plus work while the man comes home at the end of the workday and does nothing. I'm not saying it's always like this but if it is that way in YOUR relationship, get a clue please...

Taking some of that responsibility as your own can really go a long way in helping a woman feel less like a servant and more like the sexy woman she was before the situation wore her the hell out. It's hard to feel sexy and horny when you are utterly exhausted and extremely resentful that you are stuck doing all of it yourself.

And dads, PLEASE do not ever say "oh, I can't go bowling because I'm babysitting tonight". No, you are not babysitting. They are your kids-you are being a dad. I have never heard a mom say she was babysitting her own kids-have you?

So let's recap... (1) doing your share of housework is better foreplay than the special trick you do with your tongue; (2) recognize that women's lib was not meant to doom a woman to working full time AND being responsible for the entire household but it did change the economy in a way that we now really do need two-incomes to make ends meet in many instances; (3) dads do not BABYSIT their own kids.

Kudos to the men out there who already get this...you are wise! Kick in the ass to men who do not get this-pitch in at home or don't complain that your woman is too tired to also service you.

Comments? I'm sure there will be ;)


Typing this as her hubby is washing the dishes,


Professor Val

Oh and PS.... I just read an article where President Obama was talking about something similar... http://news.aol.com/article/obama-discusses-negotiations-in-his/731906

Update Your "Secret Toy Stash"

Is it time to spice up your sex life and update your secret toy stash? Many single folks and couples (and groups) enjoy using vibrators, dildos, anal stimulators, bondage furniture... the list could go on forever. Why not reignite your own sexuality with some toys to use privately or with someone else? Sometimes that's all it takes! This shop has great prices so get to it!

Go treat yourself!

Here's a place with variety and great prices to get you started... ORGASM SHOPPE

Mammography: To Squeeze Or Not To Squeeze...(under age 50)

Breast heath is nothing to fool with. How a woman takes care of her breasts is a very individual decision. Some women follow the doc's orders and give themselves monthly self-breast exams-good for you for being proactive. Some women will follow their doc's recommendations to get a baseline mammogram at age 35 and then have yearly screenings from age 40 on. Others choose other avenues such as Thermography screenings(4).(6)

Whatever you choose, thorougly research it using valid and appropriate material. Be very careful when researching on line-there is a lot of BS out there. Aside from checking out what the AMA has to say, you might also want to check out what's going on in the medical associations in Europe and other areas. Here's a statement from the AMA in Australia.(5)

Herein lies the rub... mammograms and thermographies are completely different kinds of screenings and in a perfect world doing a combination screening yearly would be a two-punch knockout. Unfortunately that's not best idea because of the longlasting effects of mammographies. With thermographies you have to make sure that the equipment is the latest available and the technician is trained well. Unfortunately there are no general standards or licensing so you have to be careful. My thermography office always has the newest equipment and an awesome tech. Further, the results are interpreted by a top radiologist. (4)

Thermographies have limitiations in that they are not covered by insurance, doctors dont back them, and they can't really get into dense breast tissue to see what's doin'. On the other hand, thermographies watch changes in your circulatory system and can spot a suspicious branching of the system about 10 years before a tumor even thinks about growing. Now THAT is preventative, wouldn't you say? Also, There is zero radiation, zero invasiveness, and zero breast squeezing. Breast squeezing is not only uncomfortable but also damaging to the delicate tissue-let me know when they start squeezing testicles between plates before they zap them with radiation for screening purposes.

Mammograms have their limitations as well. You are exposed to 0.7 mSv radiation FOR EACH SHOT "which is about the same as the average person receives from background radiation in three months" (1). When I went for my baseline mammogram, not only did they take a bunch of shots but I had to go back because they didn't like the shots they got (or thought they saw something-they are not usually straight with you) and all together I bet I had near 8 to 10... lets add that up for a second... that's 7 mSv not POINT 7 and that is THIRTY MONTHS of background radiation-30 months is 2 1/2 years worth and that's just for ONE mammogram session. False positives for women between the ages of 40 and 49 is approx 15% (1). Imagine all the fun those false positives lead to. There are also a good number of false negatives...

Now lets throw this little diddy in... for women ages 40 to 49, there is no significant decrease in breast cancer deaths from having yearly screenings and worse, you've now been exposed to 10 years of radiation. "This usually requires at least two mammograms from different angles of each breast." (2). I'm not sure how many different angles are used but lets just say they take 4 shots of each breast-that's 8 shots and 5.6 mSv which is 2 years worth of "background radiation" every year for approximately 20 years worth of additional background radiation including the initial baseline mammogram.

Ready? For women ages 40 to 49 the amount of radiation you have been exposed to INCREASES your chances of getting breast cancer by percentages that vary from article to article AND DO NOT REDUCE DEATHS from breast cancer. At the insistence of my mother I spoke to a doctor about this and when I brought that point up she got very cranky with me and said that may be true but it changes the treatment options available to you. Lets be real here-all treatment options are unpleasant, to put it mildly and no more women will be walking the earth having had mammograms than those who had their tumors discovered via monthly self-screenings or yearly doctor's screening-but they now have 20 years worth of radiation pumped into their breasts...

It's a very different story for women ages 50 to 69. Yearly mammograms lower breast cancer deaths by approximately 25%.

So what's the answer? There is no way in hell I'm exposing my girls to that much unnecessary radiation. I go for yearly thermography screenings which address one side of the coin but are not perfect on their own and I do my monthly self-exams regularly. My conundrum starts here-what other screening tool can I use that will not add to my chances of breast cancer both from radiation AND also the damaging of the delicate breast tissue in the unmerciful squeezing done by the mammogram. Digital ultrasound is one option I've been looking into. Another is MRI. Women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer in one breast and go for an MRI follow up have found that they often have cancer in the other breast which was MISSED by the mammogram 90% of the time... 90% failure rate in picking up the cancer in the other breast.(3) MRIs do not expose you to radiation. Problem here is-will my insurance cover it? You can't randomly go in and request an MRI to avoid mammography.

I'm not even going to address the politics here but feel free to further research that aspect of the mammogram world.

So, how will YOU care for your girls?

Professor Val

(1) http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?pg=mammo&bhcp=1

(2) http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/mammogram/WO00023

(3) http://www.cancer.gov/newscenter/pressreleases/MRIContralateralRelease

(4) http://www.arcadianaturalmedicine.com/thermography.php

(5) http://www.ama.com.au/web.nsf/doc/SHED-5FK23T

(6) http://iamtonline.org/

Chubby Cheerleaders? hm...

There are many discussions about how the media keeps telling us (and showing us) what they consider the perfect body female. Models are a size zero (although that is changing-slowly), skin must look like porcelain, breasts start at the neckline and jut out about a foot, diet pills are flying off the shelves, diet companies are making $ hand over fist delivering food to your house in boxes that do not even need refrigeration...

And then there is how the media portrays men. There have been a plethora of sitcoms on TV where the main female character is the usual cute, tiny, sexy thing and the husband is a big guy. The only popular sitcom where the woman was larger sized was Roseanne and her husband was pretty equal in size... Where is the heavy woman with the buff dude couple out there?

So now this...The Florida Marlins are looking for a few heavy men to be chubby cheerleaders called Manatees... Where is the outrage? Am I the only one pissed off? On the one side you think-"hey, this could be funny-these guys have balls doing that". On the other hand you think "What kind of esteem do these guys have to go out on the field like a bunch of fat clowns to be laughed at while their manteets jiggle?" (click here for the full story).

The Chicago Bulls already have a similar cheerleading squad called the Matadors...

What is your opinion? Is this as f'ed up as I think it is or am I just being sensitive because I've had weight issues since my mid 20s...up and down.. up and down.. presently on the down swing

Off to sweat with Yo Adrienne (trainer),

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone/in-person life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

Real Live Ghost Busters? YES!

Smalley's Inn in Carmel NY is well known for it's spiritual guests-not the woo spiritual we usually talk about... real live ghosts! (live ghosts?) Click here to read the whole article.

Ghost hunting is not a new phenomenon but recently has been in the media more often. We have invited two experts on our Naked Soma Raw Consciousness Radio Show this Wed night (9pm EST). Meet Amy and Kristie and hear all about their experience with the paranormal. Bring your questions and your stories to share on the show. Click here for our Radio Show.

Take a look at Amy's photo... can you tell us her domain?

Here is Kristie.. any idea what her domain is?

Tune in to Naked Soma Wed at 9pm EST to find out if you were right!

Wondering if ghosts have domains,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone (and in person) life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

Lemon in your drink?? THINK AGAIN!! ACK!!!

Here is a report about what is on those lovely slices of lemon you get in the restaurant... can you say FECES and 25 microorganisms? Filthy freaking sapes... damn it be more careful!!

CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO

I'm going to bring my own damn lemon from now on...

That's all I've got to say on that

Professor Val signing off singing Zeppelin lyrics... Squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg, The way you squeeze my lemon, I..I'm gonna fall right out of bed... (and maybe into your drink )