Losing Your Cool? When Is It Time To Get Help?

Have you ever lost it like this woman in the video? (click on "Losing Your Cool?... to see the video) She's not making much sense-she's completely illogical and although I can't see her eyes, you can bet your bippy she's ONTO.

I'm sure that even perfectly rational Sapes can lose it once in a while. When is "too much" or "too intense". Remember, you don't get angry-angry gets YOU!

There are ways to handle things when feelings get physical. You could come and talk to us at Soma Space or buy our "Help Yourself" audio product. You could go for anger management classes. You could learn meditation, tai chi, or you could learn how to redirect your anger into areas that are not destructive.

But how do you know when you are getting angry? Click here for the early warning signs (might stop you before you lose it if you know what to look for). When is it time to seek help? If you are even questioning it you might want to get some feedback from a professional. One thing that usually stands out is that the anger is affecting your relationships/job/etc.

How do you handle your anger? Are you doing the best you can to keep yourself together? If not, are you brave enough/smart enough to actually seek help? Don't let anger F your life up...

What's it going to be, Sape?




Takin' Mine To The Gym,


Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone/in-person life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

Fitness, PHYLOs and Flab

Fitness, PHYLOs and Freakin' Flab

		Saturday, 19 January 08 - 07:24 PM By Professor Val

I was surprised that ECO Queen Latifah agreed to go on Jenny Craig like ONTOs Valerie Bertinelli and Kirsty Ally did. The Queen has always been a very proud BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) so I did a little research online to find out what was going on. QL was saying that she wanted to lose a small percentage of her body weight to decrease her chance of becoming diabetic, as it runs in the family and she specifically stated that her grandmother was diabetic. She also took a lot of flack because she had "cosmetic surgery". I researched that and found out she had a medically necessary breast reduction because of back issues. She went from an F cup to a DD. She was upset that her funbags were one size smaller than she had wanted but they are what they are now. Queen Latifah was saying that portion control was an issue for her so certainly a package of JC grub might do the trick (at least temporarily... hey, has anyone seen Kirsty lately?)

So I went on youtube looking for a video on Queen Latifah and I didn't find what I was looking for but I did find a video in which the Queen was mentioned. This young woman who identifies herself as SoSoBlessed (PHYLO) talks about what drove her (a BBW) to decide to lose some weight. Check it out here - Proud BBW (but it's time to lose weight)

It made me think about my own weight/fitness situation and what was the final straw for me (this time) to get focused on getting my fat ass to the gym. I have been eating extremely well for several years but the weight is stubborn and I hate exercise. Thank the goddess that Yo Adrienne came into my life and has been my personal trainer and friend since the summer. Once the college went on break I started going to the gym 6 days per week, approx 2 hours per day. I've kept this up since the beginning of December and I'm reflecting now...being that I despise exercise, what has kept me motivated (beside Yo Adrienne)?

While out to dinner with my hubby we started talking about these things... Rick said that the domains probably affected sapes motivation for getting fit and we started going through each of the domains.

Rick felt that PHYLOs would want to get into shape so that it increased their chances of bonding with others. It was a way they could attract sapes.

Then came the ONTOs... Rick said that they were mostly concerned with how their bodies reflected on them as people and they were concerned with being on their A game. I added that it was a place they could gain some control and they like that.

We skipped over ECOs motivation for the moment...Rick said "I don't know why you people (meaning ECOs since I am an ECO) do anything" LOL wiseass... We'll get back to that.

EXOs, he felt, will work toward attaining a predetermined and specific performance goal. For example, Rick might want to take his recumbent bicycle on the bike path and do 60 miles in a day so he'd train toward the specific goal of conditioning his body to be able to go the 60 miles with ease.

I thought a little more about what motivates me, an ECO, toward my fitness goals. Sure I'd like to get rid of some fat but that's not what motivates me. One of the main things that has always motivated me is staying healthy and avoiding doctors-I really don't like those sapes very much (nothing personal, MD) and I'd like to see them as little as I can until someone plants me in the dirt. There had to be something else keeping me in the gym 2 hours a day and making me feel that "something is wrong" when I take my one day off per week... I spoke to Dr. Mark about this today and he hit the nail right on the head... what is motivating me on a daily basis is the emotional high I'm getting from the exercise-I've become an endorphin junkie! Not only do I get a nice high from the endorphin rush but also from the social environment of the gym where I have made some interesting new acquaintances. When I walk in the gym now I feel like a much lighter version, of Norm on Cheers, sans testicles of course...

Tell us, what's your domain and what is YOUR motivation for getting fit... Leave a comment and share your story!

In the meanwhile I'll keep tightening dat ass

The Incredibly Shrinking ECO,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

New Year's Resolutions.... UGH!!!

Every New Year many Sapes make New Year Resolutions. This is an ancient ritual which dates back to 153 BC (and I doubt more than a handful of people have followed through since) started by Janus, the mythical king of Rome. Janus...January.... it's not a coincidence, my friends.

According to the article "Top 10 New Year's Resolutions" by K. and A. Powell, they are:

1) Spending more time with family and friends
2) Getting Fit
3) Losing Weight
4) Quiting Smoking
5) Enjoying Life More
6) Quitting The Booze
7) Getting Out Of Debt
8) Learning Something New
9) Helping Others
10) Getting Organized

Most of those are either changing unhealthy habits of feeling guilty about something you did or didn't do.

Is this really how us Sapes live? Do we LOOK to virtually kill ourselves with unhealthy habits and stress (not to mention doing stupid things that cause guilt)? WTF are we doing?

There has to be a better way.

I'd like to know why we wait until January 1st to think about changing all the stupid things we do all year and then when we do try to change these habits, we fail... ask Dr. Mark about the "adult brain".

If you are under 25 years old, do yourself a favor and make long term lifestyle change NOW and don't fall backward. If you are over 25 it's going to take a lot more work to make these changes and your success rate drops dramatically.

One thing you can do to increase the chance of making these lifelong changes is to rebuild your somatic self. Think about downloading our Somatic Companion 30 Day Emotional Makeover right this freaking minute and get started making these changes TODAY. A more coherent Sape is more likely to reach their goals. How old are you again? Ah yes... and you are STILL struggling with the same bad habits and unmet goals. Think outside the box and try from a new angle to get into a better place- body, mind AND spirit...

Listen people, I've gone through the program and I know what happens at the end of the 30 days. You'll see life in a completely different way and that's a very GOOD thing!


More Coherent (and in better shape) Every Day,


Professor Val



(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

Italian expert links first Christmas celebration to pagan shrine in Rome

Imagine how these archaeologists must have felt when they unearthed an ancient grotto where the "mythological" Remus and Romulus were nursed by a she-wolf. Perhaps they were not as mythological as suspected...

The ancient Pagans worshiped many gods and goddesses. When Christianity came along they felt that these "ignorant Pagans" were at risk of eternal damnation so they tried to save them.



A church was almost always built near or on top of a previously Pagan worship site. This is the case with this new discovery as well. The archaeologists may have uncovered the first place Christmas was ever celebrated... check out the article-it's really neat!


Whether you celebrate Christmas, Yule/Saturnalia, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or any other winter holiday, we at Soma Space Coaching wish you happiness, and wellness now and always!

Checking her stocking for coal and rearranging her penguin decorations (love my penguins!),


Professor Val



(Need some Personal Development Work? Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

SEX: The 4 Domains Are Found EVERYWHERE...even in your pants... so to speak

Because I teach Human Sexuality I always scan the news for interesting articles about sexuality. I came across this article (click on SEX: The 4 Domains... to read the whole article) that discusses research conducted at the University of Texas at Austin. They found 237 reasons Sapes have sex. These reasons ranged from the logical to the ridiculous.

What I found most interesting about the article is that they took these 237 reasons and put them into 4 categories... and I quote:

"Physical: “The person had beautiful eyes” or “a desirable body,” or “was good kisser” or “too physically attractive to resist.” Or “I wanted to achieve an orgasm.”

Goal Attainment: “I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner” or “break up a rival’s relationship” or “make money” or “be popular.” Or “because of a bet.”

Emotional: “I wanted to communicate at a deeper level” or “lift my partner’s spirits” or “say ‘Thank you.’ ” Or just because “the person was intelligent.”

Insecurity: “I felt like it was my duty” or “I wanted to boost my self-esteem” or “It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.”"

Now lets see how the 4 Domains fit in here...

Insecurity: PHYLO...why? Because PHYLOs are the bonders and are often worried about taking care of everyone else's needs otherwise those other Sapes may not continue to like them.

Goal Attainment: ONTO...why? Because ONTOs are extremely goal oriented. There is often an ulterior motive for them to have sex. Some examples might be (now ONTOs don't get pissed at me...you know these ideas have crossed your mind) to get someone to do your bidding, to get even with someone or piss someone else off.

Emotional: ECO...why? When we discussed this in class, many students thought "emotional" would be a PHYLO reason but it's not. ECOs are very empathic and they want to connect with other Sapes on a deep and intimate level. Sex is one avenue to connect spirit to spirit, if you will.

Physical: EXO...why? Because EXO is an external domain and it's a What You See Is What You Get (WYSIWYG) situation. EXOs connect easier physically than they do emotionally.

What are your thoughts? Those of you who know your primary domain please give us some insight into your experience and let us know if you agree or disagree with the above.

As an ECO I will tell you that it's dead on for me...

Shining Up My ECO Connector,

Professor Val

(Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)

Alexyss Tylor TONIGHT on Naked Soma

Do NOT miss this radio show! It airs tonight (Wed) at 8pm EST on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/nakedsoma. It's nice to listen to the radio right on your PC while you are checking mail or chatting.

Alexyss is an amazing presence and she's got some serious Spiritual Sexuality information for you. She does not hold back-she speaks her truth loud and clear. Alexyss will talk about her own life and gives her heart-felt advice to you, the audience. Please forward this email to everyone you know. Show your support for our new Naked Soma friend, Alexyss.



WARNING: NO KIDS... I MEAN IT... NO ONE UNDER 18 SHOULD LISTEN TO THIS BROADCAST...

Click on the headline to view one of Alexyss' youtube videos-again, no KIDS

Also, here are the Vagina Healing video clips that Alexyss talks about on our show:

Vagina Healing Part 1A

Vagina Healing Part 1B

Dont miss these!!






 

Join us on Wednesday nights from 8 to 9pm EST for our Blogtalk Radio Show Naked Soma http://www.blogtalkradio.com/nakedsoma (listen to the replay right now!)

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“If you don’t like something, change it. If you cant change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” Maya Angelou

HOLIDAY POST: Santa had a broom and boobs and the Three Wise Men were Astrologers

Yes, that's what I said... but why did I say it? La Befana is a character in Italian folk lore who bears a striking resemblance to Santa Clause except for the fact that she's an old woman who rides a broom.

On the evening of Jan 6th (Epiphany) La Befana visits the children of Italy and puts candy in their stockings. If the kids are not good, they get a lump of coal (hmmm...sound familiar?)

The legend says that the Three Wise Men-who were astrologers, asked La Befana directions to where Baby Jesus was. I think that was the last time a man asked for directions, by the way-but I digress... Anyway, she didn't know the way but she did put them up for the night. In the morning the men asked La Befana if she wanted to go with them but she declined. She needed to clean instead (she was known as the best housekeeper around...her house was immaculate at all times). Later she regretted her decision and decided to go out to find the Wise Men to no avail.. she missed out on this amazing opportunity. Because of that, La Befana is still searching for the child and in doing so she does her candy routine...

There are other versions of this legend which include more grim stories (you can read them in the link-just click on "HOLIDAY POST.." to see the whole article).

In modern times most children receive a lump of coal in their stockings. This "coal" is really rock candy with caramel coloring. The reason why they all get coal is because, lets face it, do you know a single kid who has been perfect all year? LOL

Once again this legend goes back to pagan roots when the Romans used to exchange gifts at the beginning of the year during a feast celebrating the god Ianus and the goddess Strenia. Those pagans sure did have fun!



Hanging her stocking by the fire with care... (and I'd like a slice of pizza in it please)


Professor Val


(Need some Personal Development Work? Visit my online/phone life coaching site: Soma Space Coaching)